I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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