Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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