I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
