let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
