I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
