she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
