Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
