actually, I'm a sock model
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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