is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
