so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
