I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
