ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
