What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
