I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize