Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Two words: nipple clamps
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