i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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