my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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