I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
