yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize