You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Text me some of your sweat
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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