dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
