I feel great
I just peed on a car
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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