Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
