so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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