According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
