I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
