You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
