my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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