to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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