I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize