Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
