dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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