we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if only i could text you this smell
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize