If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
