i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
