We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
