Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
