I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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