I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
