scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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