I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize