thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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