Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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