Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
