summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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