how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
