your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
love makes seman taste better
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
