Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
