Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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