You're my little dorito
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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