no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
