i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
