Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
