i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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