i think i have herpe
just one?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
