i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize