sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
