I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
