So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize