you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Randomize