ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
