im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
