I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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