Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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