Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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