Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react

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(517): View more from Michigan

This baby is an asshole

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(847): View more from Illinois

You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.

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