She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize