So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
