What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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